I was floating on a ‘self-gratification’ binge following a difficult divorce when my trusted self-help guru burst my bubble:
“No one owes you anything. Not your mother. Not your spouse. Not your best friend. Not your employer. No one. Nothing,” she scolded.
My Mona Lisa smile melted into American Gothic-farmer serious. What?! Tell me it’s not so… Deserve is a dirty word. I learned this the hard way.
'Deserve' through Entitlement
Entitlement implies that we should get or have something. Why? According to whom? In our Western world we’re prone to thinking by cause and effect. For instance:
Entitlement creates distance and fosters suffering.
'Deserve' through Victimization
Deserve is victim language. It implies that someone is withholding something from you. In this case, ‘deserve’ is used on a more personal level:
'Deserve' as a victim implies there’s a problem, a deficit.
Diane Dean is a coach, counselor and business leader dedicated to supporting others to reach their fullest potential. She is the owner of Epiphany! Counseling and Wellness Center located in Murrysville, PA. Her passion is to support professionals to experience deep satisfaction and prosperity from their daily work and profound contentment in their personal lives, so they can truly capture the best of both worlds.