5 Steps to Victory This Year

As I finished my last set of bicep curls, I lifted my eyes only to see idle gym apparatus.  Flashbacks from merely several days ago of oscillating pedals and humming filled my mind while I checked the date on my phone.  January 7th.

Most people—nearly half, research supports – have experimented with making New Year’s resolutions.  Most people have failed.  Loss of ambition diminishes success by 25% after just one week.  Only 46% last six months.  And only a fragment of this group of people (8%!) actually achieve them.  As we inch our way into February, placing priority on sustainable progress is crucial.  Reach your goals, whether they be New Year’s resolutions or not, by following these simple guidelines:

1) Make sure it’s actually a goal.  Most often, goals originate from the Land of Shoulds.  It may be an obligatory behavior imposed by culture or society, or perhaps it stems from the judgments of someone within a social or familial circle.  Instead of proclaiming, “No, I WANT to complete this goal,” dig a little deeper.  Why?  Often, a ‘should’ goal hides behind the veil of the perceived ‘want’.  Be certain it’s something you want, not something someone else wants for you, whether that be a doctor, a spouse, a co-worker or society at large.

2) Don’t do it because you need to. ‘Need’ is victim language.  It runs parallel to the ‘should’.  Honestly, you don’t NEED to do anything.  Ask yourself if you want to do it, then again ask yourself why.  Try to get beneath the obvious.

Okay, so you’ve established some ‘wants’: “I want to look better when I look in the mirror;” “I don’t want to feel my waistband when I sit down.”  But ask yourself, “What will it bring me—mentally, relationally, spiritually (the stuff that really matters)—if I do this thing?  Will it bring peace of mind, connection, ability to be present?”  Keep asking ‘why’ until you get to the root of your desire…doing so will elicit true motivation to follow through, especially when tempted to eat that cake or slumber rather than rumble and tumble at the gym.

​3) Pick a way to measure success that makes sense.  How will you know you’re successful?  What will you see?  What will other people notice?  It could be a certain size, or that people comment that you are smiling, or your kids saying how happy or peaceful you look.  Whatever the benchmark, make it measurable so you know you’ve reached that desired level of success, or that you’re almost there.

4) Be flexible with the ‘how’. Strategies are one in a million.  Everyone’s different. When the once-suitable approaches stop working, find a new way to reach your goal.  Don’t confuse goals with strategies.  “I’ll go to the gym 3 times per week and work out for 60 minutes or more” is a strategy statement.  What are the goals though? Good cardiac or mental health, more energy, weight loss.  These are the goals.  While I tout exercise as beneficial for everyone, a gluten-free diet may not be. Vegetarianism is for some, but not all.  Developing strategies is a crucial step, but be flexible and develop new ones if those strategies no longer generates progress.

5) Focus on what you are doing well. It’s human nature to get distracted by obstacles and limitations.  Shift your focus.  What have you thus far gained (energy, clarity of mind, more knowledge), even if you have yet to achieve the end result?  To quote a wise woman I once met, “The quality of your life depends on the focus of your attention.”  Select where you place your focus, and keep going.

While some people snub New Year’s resolutions, I personally am still pro-resolution.  Research has proven time and again that setting goals at any point, whether it be at the turn of the calendar or not, tends to produce results.   People who explicitly make New Year’s resolutions are actually ten times more likely to reach their goals.  So, resolve away!  Just be smart.  Be realistic.  Be flexible.  And don’t give up.

-Diane Dean
Licensed Professional Counselor, Coach, and Registered Nurse
 
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